Heroes Episode 2: Don't Look Back

Ok, so I finally managed to see episode 2. Here it is!

But if you're looking for Episode 1, it's Archived under January!

Narrator: Previously, on Heroes...

Claire: I'm invincible! I'm such a freak!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiro: I can bend time! YATAAAAAAAAA!!!

Peter: I can fly!!!! I'm so quitting my day job!

Mohinder: I have to find out who killed my father!

HRG: I want to find out about him too!

Claire: Hey, Dad!

HRG: Nobody suspected that!

Narrator: And now...

Mohinder: Hey! I thought I was the narrator here!

Narrator: Nah, you give the philosophical thoughts at the start of each show, I do summaries!

Mohinder: Ok, so more of my discussion while we recap the last minute of Episode 1!

NYC

Peter: Ugh...why am I in a hospital?

Nathan: You jumped off the roof a building! You're suicidal!!!

Peter: Odd, I remember jumping because I wanted to show you that I could fly, but instead you flew! Whoa!!! You're the world's first flying politician!!

Nathan: NO!!! You're a crazy manic depressed nutball! Just deal with it!


Odessa, Texas

Claire: Dad, I really want to know about my birth parents.

HRG: Now why would you want to know about that? You're a blonde cheerleader, keep things fun and happy and don't worry about learning your weird background...

Claire: Cheerleading is hard! But that's besides the point...

HRG: Don't worry about growing up. Here's my advice: Being an adult sucks. Big time. Worry about it when it actually happens! Trust me!

NYC

Mohinder: ACK! There's a weird guy randomly in my apartment!

"Exterminator": I'm just spraying for bugs!

Mohinder: Then why are you messing with my phone?!?

Exterminator: Um...I'm spraying for phone bugs, of course. And I'm sure you don't want cockroaches all over your phone!

Mohinder: Yes I do! Cockroaches are obviously symbolic on this show somehow! Now prepare to eat decorative elephant statue!

Exterminator: Not so fast! *pulls gun*

Mohinder: You killed my father!

Exterminator: No! I AM your- Just kidding! Gotta run!

Eden: Oh no! I'd better save the hot Indian guy from the weird exterminator.

Exterminator: I'm completely innocent! I swear! I'm just a humble exterminator!

Eden: So why do you have a gun?

Exterminator: Er...for shooting bugs. Duh!

Eden: ....

Exterminator: Gotta run again! Bye!

Mohinder: Thanks for saving me! I'm Mohinder Suresh!

Eden: Whoa! I knew your father!!!

Times Square, NY

Hiro: WHOA!!!!! I just teleported into the middle of croweded Times Square, and nobody noticed!!!!!!!! Time to explore NY and act like a typical crazy Asian tourist!!!

Hiro: Hey! The guy on the cover of this comic looks exactly like me!

Comic store owner: What? You think that you get a discount if you're in the comic?

Hiro: Whoops, I forgot to exchange my Yen before teleporting! Gotta run!!!

Hiro: This is really weird! I should go talk to the author. And look! His address is conveniently printed on the comic!

Audience: If he can't speak or read english, how does he know that?!?


Elsewhere in NYC

Isaac: Simone! I almost died, but I managed to paint more of the future! NYC is going KABOOM!

Simone: Isaac, nobody can paint the future! Now quit the frickin drugs already!

Isaac: You're my girlfriend! You're supposed to believe my crazy talk!

Simone: OK, you're going to have to choose: Do you want to believe in this, or keep me around?

Isaac: Don't say that! It might be some pretty bad foreshadowing for later...

Odessa, Texas

Brody: Hey, Claire. I'm the hot jock that every cheerleader should pine after!

Claire: *is smitten*

Jackie: Hello! I'm the resident bitchy cheerleader! Now outta the way! Brody's mine!!!

Zach: Claire we gotta talk...

Claire: Not now! I'm busy pining after the football player!

Principal: Excuse me, girls, but the fire chief wants to talk to you!

Jackie: I didn't start the fire! I swear!!!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Nikki: OMG! My garage studio has brutally murdered dead guys in it!

Micah (on phone): Mom! Hurry up and pick me up!!!

Nikki: I'm only 5 minutes away, I swear!

Nikki: Huh? What just happened? Why did my clothes randomly change?

Micah (on phone): Mom!! You said you'd be here in five minutes five hours ago!!!

Nikki: Ok, this is really starting to freak me out!

Nikki's friend: Nikki! What's the deal with making me take care of your stupid kid for 5 hours???

Nikki: I'm sorry, but there are a bunch of dead guys on the floor of my garage, and I'm getting these weird memory holes! Quit bugging me!

Nikki's Friend: Don't worry! I bet it was just your criminal husband!

Nikki: No, it wasn't! Now don't tell the cops anything, I'm going to have to run!!!

NYC

Eden: I can't believe anyone would tap Pappa Suresh's phone!

Mohinder: Pappa?!? Why do you get to call him Pappa? He never let me call him that!

Eden: Well, see, I butchered his name a few times...

Mohinder: How do you butcher the name Chandra??? It's Chun-dra. Not very hard!

Eden; Yeah, well where is he? I haven't seen him for a while.

Mohinder: That would probably have to do with him being dead...

Eden: WHAT???

Mohinder: Sorry, that was just a tad insensitive... I didn't know you were close

Eden: Are you kidding? Me and Pappa Suresh used to chill all the time! We'd hang and talk genetics...

Mohinder: Sounds like he liked you a lot better than he liked me!

Eden: I never got to show him Darwin's Origin of Species!

Mohinder: My dad was a world renowned genetecist! Did you really think he'd never read it before??? Jeez.

Eden: Well, your dad did tell me he was being followed. Do you think they'll follow you?

Mohinder: Almost definitely. But right now you just need to tell me about everything he told you.

Odessa, Texas

Fire Chief: I just want to know who saved that guy's life. Unfortunately, all we know is that the girl was a blonde cheerleader, and the entire group of you fits that description!

Claire: Me? No, it wasn't me! I don't want to be a hero!

Jackie: It was me! I'm the brave heroic one!

Zach: Claire, I've still got to tell you something!

Claire: Stupid Jackie is getting honared for her heroic deeds! That's so not fair!

Zach: Don't worry, I'm sure she'll pay for it later. Anyway, I kinda lost the tape of you repeatedly trying to kill yourself...

Claire: OMG WHAT?!?

Brody: *tackle*

Claire: How does nobody notice that my neck just broke? I mean, I'm ok! I'm perfectly fine!

Brody: I tackled you and you're fine? Man, that's so hot!

Las Vegas


Micah: Mom, I like school! I don't wanna go on vacation!

Nikki: What's wrong with you??? Any normal 10 year old would kill to get out of school!

Micah: So why is our house all trashed???

Nikki: Just trust me! We have to leave! Now let me er...clean up the garage...

Nikki: Oh my god! The garage cleaned itself! And I suddenly have a new car! I'll bet my reflection did it!

NYC

Peter: I suddenly have this weird urge to draw flying stick figures...

Mrs. Petrelli: Why'd you jump off that roof? I need to know!

Peter: You just have to trust me!

Mrs. P: Oh for God sake, how many people are gonna say that in this episode??? They may as well have called it "Trust Me" instead of "Don't Look Back!"

Peter: But who'd watch a show with a lame episode title like that???

Mrs. P: Anyway, I have something important I should tell you. You're dad was depressed and suicidal, and you probably are too.

Peter: What?!? Why are you telling me this??

Mrs. P: Well, it starts out by thinking you're great or indestructible...

Peter: But I won't be indestructable for like, 5 more episodes!

Mrs. P: Peter, you're my second least favorite child, also!

Peter: I can live with that!

Elsewhere in NYC

Hiro: I found Meesta Isahk's apartment! Hello? Are you there??

Hiro: Hm...the door is left open, there's an odd silence, and creepy background music, AND blood on the floor. I guess I should stay here and pick up this dropped gun instead of run for my life!

Isaac: (x_x)

Me: In case it's hard to tell, that was my attempt at creating a dead-faced smiley!

Cops: Put your hands up!!!

Hiro: *faints*

Los Angeles, California

Matt: Despite what numerous other TV shows say, being part of LAPD sucks! I wish I could be a detective...

Mysterious girl's voice: Help! But if you're hearing this, you should probably stay away, it'll be more trouble than it's worth...

Matt: I'd better follow that weird voice in my head!

Audrey: I'll bet it was SYLAR! He's the only guy who kills by sawing heads off and taking brains!

Audrey's Partner: Let's find the girl, then worry about what actually happened!

Audrey: We've searched everywhere already!

Matt: Evidently, you forgot to look in this hidden closet thing.

Girl *thinking*: Don't hurt me!

Matt: I'm not going to hurt you! But isn't it weird that I'm totally failing to notice that you're not moving your mouth?

NYC, yet again

Mohinder: So, basically, my dad thought he could find a way to locate all the people with super cool genes. I didn't believe him though. I thought his ideas sucked!

Heroes Fans: WTH? Last episode you said they were off the hook!

Mohinder: Are you accusing me of flip-flopping?

Eden: Will it make you feel better to know he named his pet lizard after you? Hey, where is he??

Mohinder: While we look, I'll listen to this mysterious voice message of my dad and Sylar...

Eden: I found Mohinder the lizard! And look, he conviently lead me to this flash drive hidden in his cage!

Mohinder: Whoa!! This is it! This is everything he tried to proove! This is his totally off the hook theory!!!

Heroes Writers: C'mon, do you really think we're gonna make it that easy?

Los Angeles

Audrey's partner: Are you trying to tell me you heard the little girl, even though no one else could?

Matt: Yes! I'm innocent! Now let me go! I have to meet my wife before she decides to cheat on me or something...

Audrey's partner: Fine, you can go!

Audrey: No way, I'm still really suspicious of him!

Matt: What?? Sylar killed them, not me!

Audrey: How'd you know that name?!?

Matt: You said it out loud in the house before, duh.

Audrey: That's it! You're under arrest, tubby!


In the middle of some desert, Nevada


Nikki: Ok, time to start burying these bodies...hey, it seems like this place is a popular burial spot!


Odessa, Texas

HRG: Hi, honey! How was school?

Claire: Quite uneventful. I mean, it's not like I lost any dangerous tapes of myself or anything...

HRG: That's good. Anyway, I managed to contact the adoption center. You can meet your real parents as soon as I find people willing to act like them!

Claire: Aww, thanks Dad! Don't worry, you can protect me like a little girl for a long time!

HRG: I plan to! But never forget, I love you!

Claire: I love you too, Dad!

Heroes Fans: But not for much longer!

HRG: Ok, go get ready for dinner while I finish watching this tape of you trying to kill yourself...


NYC, for the zillionth time

Nathan: Peter, why are you on a roof, again?!? Do you have any idea how many votes I'll loose if you die?!?

Peter: I'm not crazy and suicidal! Now tell me that you flew, or I'll jump!

Nathan: Ok! I confess! Both of us flew! Are you happy now?

Peter: NO! Now I know you're only saying I flew to make me happy!

Nathan: What the heck is wrong with you?!?

Peter: You're an evil liar!

Nathan: No, I'm a politician!

Peter: Quit lying to me!

Nathan: Look down, and you'll see that I'm not!

Peter: I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! AND I drew this happening at the hospital!!!

Elsewhere in NYC

Cops: You're telling me you can bend time and space?

Hiro: Yes, like in Star Trek!

Cops: You're not in Star Trek!

Hiro: No, you're thinking of my dad...Listen, call my buddy, and he'll tell you what happened!

Ando: Hiro? He's been gone for weeks!

Hiro: Weeks? Why did my watch not change?!?

NYC: KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!

Hiro: AAAHHH!! Get me the [censored] out of here!!!

Tokyo, Japan

Hiro: It worked! But where's that narration coming from?

Mohinder: Yo, author, I think you're starting to kill that joke...

Me: It's my spin-off, I can kill as many jokes as I please! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Mohinder: Anyway, man has a destiny. He can't choose it. Too bad for him!

To be continued...