Heroes Episode 3: One Giant Leap

So here it is, Episode 3! Enjoy!
As always, older episodes and such are under archives

Mohinder: I'm not sure what happened to the other guy, but I get to recap last week's episode, AND do my usual thoughts on evolution!

Mohinder: Evolution is cool, but it can really be a bitch sometimes. However, it only does it for it's goal: Survival!

Me: Do these writers know biology at all? The goal is not just survival, you have to survive long enough to have offspring! Jeez!

Mohinder: C'mon! Who'd want to see a tv show where every superpowered person wants to go have kids? That's just plain stupid!

Me: Hm...so if you think about Darwin's "Survival of the Fittest" in that way, Nathan is one hell of a survivor...

Outskirts of Las Vegas

Nikki: I have to bury these dead bodies, but it looks like someone else is buried here! Hey, this skull-shaped ring looks familiar...



Odessa, Texas

Claire: If we win this football game, all of us high schoolers are gonna go hang out somewhere with no adult supervision until midnight!

HRG: Ok, you can go, just don't do anything with the quarterback!

Claire: Don't worry, pretty blonde cheerleaders don't get with quarterbacks unless they're also world-class bitches!

HRG: Maybe you should date nerds, you know, like that Japanese time bending guy!

"Plaire" Fans: No!!! You should date totally hot hospice nurses!!!

Jackie: Hey, Mr.Bennet, you've got such nice distinctive eyewear, people may as well start calling you "Horn Rimmed Glasses"

HRG: So, I heard that you're the new town hero!

Jackie: O.M.G.! Did you hear about that?

Claire: Did you just say "omg" out loud? Your ditz-meter just went up about 10 points...


Tokyo, Japan


Ando: Sweet, now I can carry the hot American stripper on my awesome Ipod with Video!

Me: Can you say "product placement?"

Ando: If you think that's bad, wait until we get our Nissan!

Hiro: Ando! I traveled forward in time and saw New York explode!

Ando: Someone's been drinking too much sake...

Hiro: I have proof! It's a comic about us from the future! See? It has everything you just told me? How would I have known that?

Ando: The bigger question is, how the heck did you read that? You can't read english!

Hiro: That doesn't matter! Now come on, we have to save a little girl!


Manhattan, NYC

Peter: I've decided not to jump off buildings anymore, falling off playground equipment is easier!

Kid: didn't your mommy ever tell you it's unsafe to stand on monkey-bars?

Peter: This is odd, I'd better go talk to Nathan.

Nathan: Peter, I've got a campaign to run here, do you really think I care about your flying problem?

Peter: Of course you do! But guess what, I found out that this Indian guy wrote a book about human flight, AND he just so happens to have moved to NYC to do more research!

Nathan: Why couldn't he do it in India?

Peter: I dunno, I guess there are just more people with super powers here than in Asia...

Nathan: Well, what's more important right now is that we find a way to explain to the press why you tried to jump off a roof...

Peter: Who cares about that? Don't you want to know why we can fly?

Nathan: Not really, I'd rather win this election.

Peter: Fine, so what do you plan on telling the reporter?

Nathan: I'm a politician, so something that's NOT the truth!


Brooklyn, NYC (yeah, we're starting to be specific about that)


Mohinder: Why does this stupid code make no sense?!?! AAAAAAAAHH!!!

Eden: Will some mac and cheese make you feel better?

Mohinder: Everything my dad did was stupid and pointless! Look, he made a stupid theory, a pointless algorithm, and now I'm wasting my time proving his stupid idea!

Eden: Will you make up you're freaking mind already?!? One week his theory is awesome, the next week it sucks, but then it's awesome again! Now it sucks, yet again!

Mohinder: I've made up my mind! IT SUCKS SO MUCH, I'M GONNA THROW HIS FRICKIN' COMPUTER!

Eden: Look! Yet another serendipitous discovery! It's a journal somehow hidden in a computer!

Mohinder: Hmm...the evil guy's address and a key. I wonder what it means?

LA

Matt: I'm telling the truth! I heard the little girl, but in my head!

Audrey: Fine, so what am I thinking right now?

Matt: um....

Audrey: *thinking* Why the heck did I bring this loser in here? It's so obvious he couldn't have done it! I guess it was for the sake of driving the plot forward, but it's already going to slowly...

Matt: You think this show moves waaaaaay too slowly!

Audrey: Sweet! The FBI's been looking for a psychic cop!

Odessa, Texas

Zach: Claire, I couldn't help but notice that you're totally ignoring the whole, "I lost the tape of you trying to kill yourself" thing

Claire: Well, I think it's good. Now I can be normal!

Zach: Why on earth would you want to be normal!???

Claire: Have you never seen Smallville, or any other superhero movie or comic for that matter? If you have superpowers, you have to brood and wish you were normal. I'm only following rules!


NYC


Simone: I'm selling all your paintings, and I got rid of your drugs!

Isaac: What??? how am I supposed to save the world if I'm not high?!?

Simone: Isaac, you can't paint the future! Be normal!

Isaac: I don't want to loose you, Simone!

Simone: Right, keep that in mind for episode 16! Now I'm leaving!


Tokyo, Japan


Hiro: Ok, now help me find the girl!

Girl: Japan has one of the world's best education systems, but apparently they forget to tell us to look before crossing a street!

Hiro: I'll save you with my time stopping awesomeness! *time freeze*

Girl: I'm alive!

Hiro: YATAAAAA!!!!!!

Ando: You did it! Let's hug and dance around in the middle of the street to celebrate!

Some desert in Nevada

Nikki: I finished burying those guys, just in time for sunrise!

Micah: Good morning!

Nikki: Hey, honey! How'd you sleep?

Micah: I was sleeping in the back of a car with no roof in the middle of the desert. How do you think I slept?

Nikki: Well, I'm sure it was better than my night! That's for sure!

Micah: So where are we going now?

Nikki: We're gonna go tell your grandma what a horrible mother she was!

Micah's Grandma: Micah!!!!!!! Give me a big hug!!!!!!!

Micah: Yay!!!

Grandma: Nikki, you're a terrible mother. Let me raise your son!

Nikki: Why, so he can end up like his wonderful father?

Grandma: My son is not a criminal!

Nikki: Yes he is! I found this ring of his in a grave! He murdered his gang!

Grandma: No he didn't! And even if he did, Micah is better off with me than a frickin grave-robber like you!

Nikki: I want you out of my son's life!

Grandma: Well, you're the one who brought him here!

Nikki: Don't make me angry! You wouldn't want to meet my other personality!!

LA

Matt: Why am I still here? My poor, lonely wife is waiting for me!

Audrey: We'll let you leave as soon as you read the little girl's mind.

Matt: Ok, fine, but first, the audience and I could really use some backstory on this Sylar guy...

Audrey: Well, basically, he's a serial killer who somehow kills without touching. He also cuts the victims heads off.

Matt: Wow, you must be crazy to go after a guy like him!

NYC

Mohinder: Knockknock! Are you there, Sylar?!?

Eden: Are you sure it's a smart idea to go meet the guy who killed your father!

Mohinder: Of course it is! I just want to ask him why!

Eden: Yeah, I'm sure the crazy psycho murderer is going to invite you in for tea and chat about his motives, right?

Mohinder: That's how they treat guests in India!

Eden: This is America, genius! Guests are treated like crap, not God!

Mohinder: But all the answers might be behind this door!

Writers: Why would we answer stuff in the third episode?

Me: Yeah, how'd this guy get a PhD anyway?

Mohinder: Good thing I carry around a screw driver with me so I can conveniently break in to bad guys' apartments...

Eden: Mohinder, everything in here seems totally normal. What are you taking all those pictures for?

Mohinder: I happen to think he's got good decorating sense, ok??

Eden: Look, his photo album is filled with pics of dead people? What's up with that?

Mohinder: Nevermind that, I've serendipitously found yet another mystery!

Eden: Hey, that map looks familiar! And it has other characters on this show posted on it, like the annoying congressman!

Mohinder: Look! Yet another mystery! A wall full of odd christian overtones! What on earth was my father involved in???

Eden: I wouldn't ask- it's a bit of a lost plot line that the writers are probably hoping we'll forget about...

LA

Audrey: OK, so the little girl is being kept in a perfectly safe place...

Little girl: AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Audrey: Or not...

Sylar: It's waaay smarter to try to kidnap you instead of kill you right here...

Audrey: Freeze! You're under arrest!

Sylar: Wait! You can't catch me, I haven't even been cast yet!

Matt: Don't worry! Sylar doesn't stand a chance against a tubby mindreading cop and an FBI chick!

Audrey: I've got you cornered! Put your hands up,now!

Sylar: I'd rather you point the gun at yourself, even though I could easily rip your head off...

Audrey: EEK!

Sylar: Why are you shooting yourself? :-P

Matt: Die, murderer!!!! *fires gun*

Audrey: I'm saved!

Sylar: I guess that's my exit cue...


On a plane from Tokyo

Ando: We figured after that intense Sylar chase, you could use some comic relief!

Hiro: This is so cool! We get to go stop a nuclear explosion! I think I might need a costume, though...

Ando: Dude, do you really think I wanna see you in tights?!?

Hiro: Ok, good point. We don't want to start any uprising of "Hando" Fans...

Ando: So does everything in that comic actually happen?

Hiro: Everything! Even this woman sleeping on your shoulder!

NYC

Simone: Peter, are you trying to sneak out of your shift early?!?

Peter: No, sorry, I'm quitting...

Simone: What?!? But having a hot nurse look after my dad was the only good part of him dying!

Peter: I'm sorry, but I'm...well, not ordinary. I'm extraordinary! And extraordinary people do extraordinary things!

Simone: What???

Peter: It's like...rivers belong where they can ramble, eagles belong where they can fly. And so do I!

Me: Sorry, I saw "Pippin" the musical last night...

Peter: I think I'm meant to be more than just a nurse. I should do something big- something explosive!

Simone: Well, I'll miss you.

Peter: Don't worry, they wouldn't get rid of your character that fast!

Some random field in Odessa, Texas

Claire: It's fun setting rival school mascots on fire!

Jackie: Speaking of fire, let me tell you about my amazing rescue!

Brody: Hey, Claire. I'm really sweet and nice. Really. I've noticed you've been depressed.

Claire: How would you know that?

Brody: Well, you stopped drinking chocolate milk, you stopped drawing in your notebooks, you stopped laughing at jokes...

Claire: Wow! You knowing all that isn't stalkerish at all. You're so sweet!

Brody: I even put fireworks in your mascot thing!

Claire: Are those even legal in Texas?

Brody: That doesn't matter. Now let's blow this joint!

Girl: I guess instead of warning Claire, I should just stand around looking depressed...

LA

Matt: Honey, I'm home!

Janice: And I care why?

Matt: I gotta tell you about my crazy adventurous day!

Janice: I don't care about your day! Our marriage sucks!

Matt: No it doesn't!

Me: Yeah, yeah, yeah...boring typical marital troubles. Let's just skip ahead a bit...

Odessa, Texas

Claire: I'm making out with a jock, and I'm loving it!

Brody: Nice, I am too!

Claire: Can we take a break and talk about my problems?

Brody: Sure, but can I rape you first?

Claire: What??? NO! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PIG!

Me: C'mon, Claire! Punch him in the throat or something!

Claire: Unlike you, I'm a cheerleader, not a black belt in karate!

Me: Maybe you ought to find a more effective after school activity...

Brody: C'mon, Claire! You know you want it!

Claire: Over my dead body! *dies*

Brody: Claire? Uh-oh...

Las Vegas

Nikki: You're being awfully quiet...

Micah: Dad is innocent! You should believe in him more!

Nikki: No, I shouldn't. Now if you know where he is- Oh no! It's the cops!

Cop: You weren't speeding or anything, but a certain mob boss needs to speak with you about some money and thugs...

NYC

Peter: Anyone notice how different I look without that stupid piece of hair in my eyes?

Simone: I noticed!

Peter: See, I told you that you wouldn't be off the show yet!

Simone: And I also noticed that suddenly you seem way more attractive and confident, unlike my looser drug-addict boyfriend...

Peter: Well, now that I'm not working for your father, I don't feel afraid to tell you that I'm madly in love with you!

Nathan: Sorry, lovebirds, I gotta interrupt your moment with my campaign speech!

Nathan: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm glad that my wonderful family is here. Unfortunately, my father is not, since he's dead. He was depressed, just like my little brother! But it's a much better idea to tell everyone about it than to let him suffer on his own...

Peter: What??? That's it, I'm leaving and voting for the other guy!!

Los Angeles Airport

Hiro: We need a Nissan Versa! I've heard it's a wonderful car!

Ando: It sure is!

Me: Ack! It's the evil product placement! Don't let it get you, Hiro!!!

Ando: Before we drive off in our wonderful Nissan Versa, let me just take a peak at this stripper video I can conveniently carry on my Ipod!

Hiro: Wow, two great products in the same scene!

Me: They've both gone to the dark side! NOOOOO!!!

LA

Matt: As long as my wife hates me, I guess I can just hang out at bars and listen to people's thoughts...

The Hatian: You're mind reading won't work on me! I mean ........................

Matt: I've only had one drink...why do I feel so..........*faints*

NYC

Mohinder: Look in this apartment! It seems well decorated, but it's the home of a psycho!

Cops: Didn't we tell you not to worry about this? The whole "i have sinned thing" is nothing, we swear! No forget it ever happened!

Mohinder: Huh?? Everything is gone! I'll bet he has super packing abilities!!

Elsewhere in NYC

Peter: You son of bitch! I'll kill you!

Nathan: Easy, Pete, that's our mother you're talking about!

Me: That line was just too good to cut out!

Peter: You lied to me, and now you're letting everyone think I'm crazy!

Nathan: And the whole story just screams, "Nathan Petrelli: Family Man!"

Peter: Screw you! You just might make me actually depressed, or worse; evil!

"Evil Peter" Fans: SWEET!!!!!

Isaac: Lalala, flipping through my old drawings while for some reason India's national song plays in the background...

Me: Yeah, what is up with that???

Writers: It's in a language no one understands, and it sounds cool and mysterious! Give us a break!

Simone: Hey, Peter, I know you're already soaking wet, but I'll share my umbrella with you!

Peter: Aww, this is really romantic! *smooching time*

Isaac: Hey, this drawing is of Simone kissing-Peter?!? What???

Mohinder: Time for my closing narration!! Oh, but I guess you're wondering what happened to Claire...

Writers: You knew we couldn't end it without a shocking ending!

Some hospital in Texas

Morgue worker (I forgot the technical name, sorry!): Oh, this poor girl looks really dead. I guess we can start with the autopsy...

Mohinder: As I was saying, evolution can be a real pain. Not that I would know, since the lame writers didn't give me any superpowers....

Claire: Huh? Where am I? HOLY SH-

To be continued...

Heroes Episode 2: Don't Look Back

Ok, so I finally managed to see episode 2. Here it is!

But if you're looking for Episode 1, it's Archived under January!

Narrator: Previously, on Heroes...

Claire: I'm invincible! I'm such a freak!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hiro: I can bend time! YATAAAAAAAAA!!!

Peter: I can fly!!!! I'm so quitting my day job!

Mohinder: I have to find out who killed my father!

HRG: I want to find out about him too!

Claire: Hey, Dad!

HRG: Nobody suspected that!

Narrator: And now...

Mohinder: Hey! I thought I was the narrator here!

Narrator: Nah, you give the philosophical thoughts at the start of each show, I do summaries!

Mohinder: Ok, so more of my discussion while we recap the last minute of Episode 1!

NYC

Peter: Ugh...why am I in a hospital?

Nathan: You jumped off the roof a building! You're suicidal!!!

Peter: Odd, I remember jumping because I wanted to show you that I could fly, but instead you flew! Whoa!!! You're the world's first flying politician!!

Nathan: NO!!! You're a crazy manic depressed nutball! Just deal with it!


Odessa, Texas

Claire: Dad, I really want to know about my birth parents.

HRG: Now why would you want to know about that? You're a blonde cheerleader, keep things fun and happy and don't worry about learning your weird background...

Claire: Cheerleading is hard! But that's besides the point...

HRG: Don't worry about growing up. Here's my advice: Being an adult sucks. Big time. Worry about it when it actually happens! Trust me!

NYC

Mohinder: ACK! There's a weird guy randomly in my apartment!

"Exterminator": I'm just spraying for bugs!

Mohinder: Then why are you messing with my phone?!?

Exterminator: Um...I'm spraying for phone bugs, of course. And I'm sure you don't want cockroaches all over your phone!

Mohinder: Yes I do! Cockroaches are obviously symbolic on this show somehow! Now prepare to eat decorative elephant statue!

Exterminator: Not so fast! *pulls gun*

Mohinder: You killed my father!

Exterminator: No! I AM your- Just kidding! Gotta run!

Eden: Oh no! I'd better save the hot Indian guy from the weird exterminator.

Exterminator: I'm completely innocent! I swear! I'm just a humble exterminator!

Eden: So why do you have a gun?

Exterminator: Er...for shooting bugs. Duh!

Eden: ....

Exterminator: Gotta run again! Bye!

Mohinder: Thanks for saving me! I'm Mohinder Suresh!

Eden: Whoa! I knew your father!!!

Times Square, NY

Hiro: WHOA!!!!! I just teleported into the middle of croweded Times Square, and nobody noticed!!!!!!!! Time to explore NY and act like a typical crazy Asian tourist!!!

Hiro: Hey! The guy on the cover of this comic looks exactly like me!

Comic store owner: What? You think that you get a discount if you're in the comic?

Hiro: Whoops, I forgot to exchange my Yen before teleporting! Gotta run!!!

Hiro: This is really weird! I should go talk to the author. And look! His address is conveniently printed on the comic!

Audience: If he can't speak or read english, how does he know that?!?


Elsewhere in NYC

Isaac: Simone! I almost died, but I managed to paint more of the future! NYC is going KABOOM!

Simone: Isaac, nobody can paint the future! Now quit the frickin drugs already!

Isaac: You're my girlfriend! You're supposed to believe my crazy talk!

Simone: OK, you're going to have to choose: Do you want to believe in this, or keep me around?

Isaac: Don't say that! It might be some pretty bad foreshadowing for later...

Odessa, Texas

Brody: Hey, Claire. I'm the hot jock that every cheerleader should pine after!

Claire: *is smitten*

Jackie: Hello! I'm the resident bitchy cheerleader! Now outta the way! Brody's mine!!!

Zach: Claire we gotta talk...

Claire: Not now! I'm busy pining after the football player!

Principal: Excuse me, girls, but the fire chief wants to talk to you!

Jackie: I didn't start the fire! I swear!!!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Nikki: OMG! My garage studio has brutally murdered dead guys in it!

Micah (on phone): Mom! Hurry up and pick me up!!!

Nikki: I'm only 5 minutes away, I swear!

Nikki: Huh? What just happened? Why did my clothes randomly change?

Micah (on phone): Mom!! You said you'd be here in five minutes five hours ago!!!

Nikki: Ok, this is really starting to freak me out!

Nikki's friend: Nikki! What's the deal with making me take care of your stupid kid for 5 hours???

Nikki: I'm sorry, but there are a bunch of dead guys on the floor of my garage, and I'm getting these weird memory holes! Quit bugging me!

Nikki's Friend: Don't worry! I bet it was just your criminal husband!

Nikki: No, it wasn't! Now don't tell the cops anything, I'm going to have to run!!!

NYC

Eden: I can't believe anyone would tap Pappa Suresh's phone!

Mohinder: Pappa?!? Why do you get to call him Pappa? He never let me call him that!

Eden: Well, see, I butchered his name a few times...

Mohinder: How do you butcher the name Chandra??? It's Chun-dra. Not very hard!

Eden; Yeah, well where is he? I haven't seen him for a while.

Mohinder: That would probably have to do with him being dead...

Eden: WHAT???

Mohinder: Sorry, that was just a tad insensitive... I didn't know you were close

Eden: Are you kidding? Me and Pappa Suresh used to chill all the time! We'd hang and talk genetics...

Mohinder: Sounds like he liked you a lot better than he liked me!

Eden: I never got to show him Darwin's Origin of Species!

Mohinder: My dad was a world renowned genetecist! Did you really think he'd never read it before??? Jeez.

Eden: Well, your dad did tell me he was being followed. Do you think they'll follow you?

Mohinder: Almost definitely. But right now you just need to tell me about everything he told you.

Odessa, Texas

Fire Chief: I just want to know who saved that guy's life. Unfortunately, all we know is that the girl was a blonde cheerleader, and the entire group of you fits that description!

Claire: Me? No, it wasn't me! I don't want to be a hero!

Jackie: It was me! I'm the brave heroic one!

Zach: Claire, I've still got to tell you something!

Claire: Stupid Jackie is getting honared for her heroic deeds! That's so not fair!

Zach: Don't worry, I'm sure she'll pay for it later. Anyway, I kinda lost the tape of you repeatedly trying to kill yourself...

Claire: OMG WHAT?!?

Brody: *tackle*

Claire: How does nobody notice that my neck just broke? I mean, I'm ok! I'm perfectly fine!

Brody: I tackled you and you're fine? Man, that's so hot!

Las Vegas


Micah: Mom, I like school! I don't wanna go on vacation!

Nikki: What's wrong with you??? Any normal 10 year old would kill to get out of school!

Micah: So why is our house all trashed???

Nikki: Just trust me! We have to leave! Now let me er...clean up the garage...

Nikki: Oh my god! The garage cleaned itself! And I suddenly have a new car! I'll bet my reflection did it!

NYC

Peter: I suddenly have this weird urge to draw flying stick figures...

Mrs. Petrelli: Why'd you jump off that roof? I need to know!

Peter: You just have to trust me!

Mrs. P: Oh for God sake, how many people are gonna say that in this episode??? They may as well have called it "Trust Me" instead of "Don't Look Back!"

Peter: But who'd watch a show with a lame episode title like that???

Mrs. P: Anyway, I have something important I should tell you. You're dad was depressed and suicidal, and you probably are too.

Peter: What?!? Why are you telling me this??

Mrs. P: Well, it starts out by thinking you're great or indestructible...

Peter: But I won't be indestructable for like, 5 more episodes!

Mrs. P: Peter, you're my second least favorite child, also!

Peter: I can live with that!

Elsewhere in NYC

Hiro: I found Meesta Isahk's apartment! Hello? Are you there??

Hiro: Hm...the door is left open, there's an odd silence, and creepy background music, AND blood on the floor. I guess I should stay here and pick up this dropped gun instead of run for my life!

Isaac: (x_x)

Me: In case it's hard to tell, that was my attempt at creating a dead-faced smiley!

Cops: Put your hands up!!!

Hiro: *faints*

Los Angeles, California

Matt: Despite what numerous other TV shows say, being part of LAPD sucks! I wish I could be a detective...

Mysterious girl's voice: Help! But if you're hearing this, you should probably stay away, it'll be more trouble than it's worth...

Matt: I'd better follow that weird voice in my head!

Audrey: I'll bet it was SYLAR! He's the only guy who kills by sawing heads off and taking brains!

Audrey's Partner: Let's find the girl, then worry about what actually happened!

Audrey: We've searched everywhere already!

Matt: Evidently, you forgot to look in this hidden closet thing.

Girl *thinking*: Don't hurt me!

Matt: I'm not going to hurt you! But isn't it weird that I'm totally failing to notice that you're not moving your mouth?

NYC, yet again

Mohinder: So, basically, my dad thought he could find a way to locate all the people with super cool genes. I didn't believe him though. I thought his ideas sucked!

Heroes Fans: WTH? Last episode you said they were off the hook!

Mohinder: Are you accusing me of flip-flopping?

Eden: Will it make you feel better to know he named his pet lizard after you? Hey, where is he??

Mohinder: While we look, I'll listen to this mysterious voice message of my dad and Sylar...

Eden: I found Mohinder the lizard! And look, he conviently lead me to this flash drive hidden in his cage!

Mohinder: Whoa!! This is it! This is everything he tried to proove! This is his totally off the hook theory!!!

Heroes Writers: C'mon, do you really think we're gonna make it that easy?

Los Angeles

Audrey's partner: Are you trying to tell me you heard the little girl, even though no one else could?

Matt: Yes! I'm innocent! Now let me go! I have to meet my wife before she decides to cheat on me or something...

Audrey's partner: Fine, you can go!

Audrey: No way, I'm still really suspicious of him!

Matt: What?? Sylar killed them, not me!

Audrey: How'd you know that name?!?

Matt: You said it out loud in the house before, duh.

Audrey: That's it! You're under arrest, tubby!


In the middle of some desert, Nevada


Nikki: Ok, time to start burying these bodies...hey, it seems like this place is a popular burial spot!


Odessa, Texas

HRG: Hi, honey! How was school?

Claire: Quite uneventful. I mean, it's not like I lost any dangerous tapes of myself or anything...

HRG: That's good. Anyway, I managed to contact the adoption center. You can meet your real parents as soon as I find people willing to act like them!

Claire: Aww, thanks Dad! Don't worry, you can protect me like a little girl for a long time!

HRG: I plan to! But never forget, I love you!

Claire: I love you too, Dad!

Heroes Fans: But not for much longer!

HRG: Ok, go get ready for dinner while I finish watching this tape of you trying to kill yourself...


NYC, for the zillionth time

Nathan: Peter, why are you on a roof, again?!? Do you have any idea how many votes I'll loose if you die?!?

Peter: I'm not crazy and suicidal! Now tell me that you flew, or I'll jump!

Nathan: Ok! I confess! Both of us flew! Are you happy now?

Peter: NO! Now I know you're only saying I flew to make me happy!

Nathan: What the heck is wrong with you?!?

Peter: You're an evil liar!

Nathan: No, I'm a politician!

Peter: Quit lying to me!

Nathan: Look down, and you'll see that I'm not!

Peter: I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!! AND I drew this happening at the hospital!!!

Elsewhere in NYC

Cops: You're telling me you can bend time and space?

Hiro: Yes, like in Star Trek!

Cops: You're not in Star Trek!

Hiro: No, you're thinking of my dad...Listen, call my buddy, and he'll tell you what happened!

Ando: Hiro? He's been gone for weeks!

Hiro: Weeks? Why did my watch not change?!?

NYC: KABOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!

Hiro: AAAHHH!! Get me the [censored] out of here!!!

Tokyo, Japan

Hiro: It worked! But where's that narration coming from?

Mohinder: Yo, author, I think you're starting to kill that joke...

Me: It's my spin-off, I can kill as many jokes as I please! MWAHAHAHAHA!

Mohinder: Anyway, man has a destiny. He can't choose it. Too bad for him!

To be continued...